Well, a few hours after my post yesterday, the heat came on in the apartment. I went to the grocery store to buy some delicious foodstuffs for myself, and when I came back in, the apartment smelled like freshly-turned-on radiators. You know that weird semi-bad, semi-good toasted-paint smell? This was confirmed by a horrible hissing noise coming from the back room. Then I went into my room to inspect and my radiator wasn't hissing, but it was toasty, toasty warm. I danced a bit and then texted my flatmates to let them know of this new development. Then I got scared that the hissing noise in their room was actually the radiator doing something awful, so I went in and checked, but everything was fine.

It took a while, but now the whole apartment is pretty warm . . . or, at least, warmer. I no longer have to walk around in corduroys and a sweatshirt and huge hedgehog slippers just to make sure I don't catch hypothermia. The unfortunate thing is that, obviously, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling unbearably hot. Also, those damn pigeons woke me up with their infernal cooing! Something needs to be done, and whatever I end up doing, I'm pretty sure that PETA won't approve. But what do they approve of, anyway? I can't think of a single thing I ever do that doesn't somehow, at least indirectly, hurt an animal. Including breathing. Even Hitler.

Today I played some Game Show Network games online, and let me tell you, it is HARD to get into that Top 10 list. Some people are either very lucky, or they've hacked the GSN website. I used to be pretty good at hacking, but I gave up that lifestyle. Too risky; too many loved ones get hurt. And Dan Giannini was finally catching up to me. I miss it, though . . . the thrill.

Well, time to cash some checks, pay some bills, go to the Verizon store, and send out my resume to a few more places that won't respond. Fun, fun, fun!

--DJ Dickmutt

My apartment is cold. Deathly, deathly cold. And I like it pretty cold, usually. Several tests over the last week or so have confirmed that it appears to be colder inside than outside. I don't know how that works. Yesterday I bought a new comforter and duvet cover. Last night I slept in delicious warmth, but then it took me a VERY long time to get out of my bed in the morning, because it was so much colder outside my bed.

There are these incredibly annoying birds that live outside my bedroom window. Also, outside the bathroom window, since those windows are very close to each other. Anyway, they coo and flap around and just generally seem to be undesirably close to me. There's a very narrow window separating those filthy birds from my home. And they poo A LOT.

I'm emerging from one of those "I'm unemployed and depressed and I'm just going to eat and sleep and watch TV all day" funks. And on the one hand, I'm happy that I'm finally pulling myself out of it, but on the other hand, it's VERY hard to do. On the bright side, though, I'm a lot happier, or at least carefree, during the day. The nighttime is another story. An even more boring story. About not sleeping and having disturbingly crazy thoughts. But it's the daytime so srew that stuff.

This last weekend I went to two really fun shows. The first one was at Union Pool in Williamsburg. We went to see Hopewell, a band I'd never heard of and was okay. But the band that immediately opened for them, Nicole Atkins and the Sea, was WONDERFUL. I highly recommend her. Apparently, so has Rolling Stone. The second show I saw was on Sunday night. We went to The Knitting Factory to see The Suicide Girls, which is a pretty crazy burlesque show, and that was fun, albeit I got sprayed with beer like 4 times. Opening for them was a really crazy Japanese pop trio, all female, and they were insane and awesome. Unfortunately, I don't know their name.

Anyway, I think my crazy drunken weekend of staying out too late and going to fun shows is what really helped pull me out of the funk.

So after just before I wrote the post about not being able to sleep yesterday, I setup the ole TiVo to record a program called Namaste Yoga on FitTV, because it had been recommended to me that yoga often helps people with insomnia. Then I got that recommendation again from a helpful friend after the last blog post displayed on Facebook. (If you want to find the original source, by the way, it's http://vilemonotony.blogstream.com/ ). Anyway, I felt so refreshed after doing the half-hour yoga program, that I immediately got a season pass to it, and just 45 minutes ago completed today's installment.

Last night, I still couldn't get to sleep until about 2:30 or 3 AM, but I ended up sleeping till 1 PM. So it's a good thing I don't have a job right now, huh? No. It's not a good thing. I just sent my resume to three different places today. I would only actually want a job at one of them, but... y'know. If you don't send it to every place, then you feel like it's your own fault for not getting any job. Of course, if none of these places call me back, then I'm going to feel like a complete loser. I wonder what that feels like?

Well, it looks like I'll be having some fun today, as my former roommate Alec is spreading his wings and flying over to hang out with me. Nothing like having a fellow unemployed friend to keep company with. And I've been asked to do three separate things by three separate people on Saturday night! I'm so popular!

That last sentence was only partially sarcastic. I'm trying to have a more positive attitude to myself and everyone around me in the hopes that it makes the people around me be positive as well. I don't know... it's easier than trying to find a shrink.

Love,
DJ

So, if you know me, or if you've read the archives of my stirring blog, then you know that I am a chronic insomniac. Most of the time, my sleeplessness is stress-related. I'm an anxiety-riddled young man, and have been since I was but a small boy. Back when I saw a Head Shrinker, in junior and normative high school, we tried several different ways to help me get to sleep, including meditation and all the other crap that people always recommend. The best solution I ever found was to silently rack my brain for things that were bothering me. Important things I'd been putting off, or life issues that were making me particularly unhappy or stressed. After thinking for a while, I'd start to accept the problems, and formulate a basis of a plan to tackle that issue the next day. Then I could finally fall asleep.

I've been having semi-serious insomnia for the last week and a half, not being able to fall asleep until very late and then waking up frequently. And last Thursday (I think), I didn't sleep at all. So, I spent a good portion of last night, while not sleeping, trying to figure out what was bothering me so much. And I wasn't happy with the answer.

I'm not even sure I want to share exactly what it is right now. Suffice it say that I realized I'm much unhappier than I thought I was. It's scary to suddenly discover how miserable you are. I thought I was functioning at about my average level of vile monotony. Anyway, the whole thing's giving me a headache. And I still can't sleep. This is a bad day.